Family - Random Emo Post

I was hanging out with one of my best friends Lolly today after a shopping spree. [Yay, I've finally gotten all the things I need for my dinner, yay me! ^_^] Her dad and mom picked us up and we went shopping for paint and cement because they're renovating their house right now. We went to TTDI Jaya and a pang of dull sorrow throbbed through me as I caught sight of my school. [TTDI Jaya will always be MY school, SSAAS is just THE school - Hehe...] Anyway, this post is not about how much I miss my alma mater so I shall continue on. I hung out at Lolly's place for a while because haven't been there for oh-so-long, that place is practically my second home. Today is her parents' anniversary and a florist delivered a basket of flowers to her mother just as we were getting down from the car. [Her dad was struggling with this 50kg packet of cement but the florist who is so thin and small sized and is 62 years old just carried it selambe only - what a dude!] So yeah, went in for some tea and I actually had a good time chatting and laughing with them, I always do. I didn't realize that I was subconsciously disturbed until I reached home.

Basically, I started thinking about my own family. I admit it, I'm jealous. But not in a oh-I-want-to-wreak-havoc-on-you type of way, more of a I-want-it-too type of way. Her family is so normal and together and happy and her parents are so loving towards each other. It just made the fact that distance separates mine even more apparent. My parents are not divorced or anything, don't get me wrong. It's just that I moved here when I was in Standard Four for certain reasons and my dad stayed back in Terengganu to work. Things have just been like that ever since. Getting to see my dad is like a privilege not often to be had. But when I do see him, it's definitely one of the happiest moments of my life. Not that I'm not happy when I'm with my mom, she's awesome. Having both of them together at the same time is a phenomenal feeling.

Sometimes I wonder, if my dad was here with me all the time, maybe I wouldn't have turned out to be a juvenile delinquent when I was in secondary school. Maybe I would have been a better person, a more worthy person. It keeps bugging me, wondering what could have been. Family occasions are never complete, there's always something missing.

Maybe that's one of the reasons I love Terengganu so much, partially because of the beautiful white beaches, the scrumptious keropok lekor, the beautiful star-filled sky at night but mostly because my dad is there. Terengganu is the only place where I can ever feel like I belong in a family, it's the place where I feel happy and normal for once. Although I don't like it for a variety of reasons such as my allergy to dog hair kicks up when I'm there, it's eff-ing boring there, freaking hot or rainy most of the time, the shopping mall there is worse than PKNS, Streamyx sucks even more there etc. However, I'll endure it - no big deal.

My sister and mom left for Terengganu today, I'll be leaving myself in four days time but right now, I feel so lonely without my sister cracking lame jokes beside me. So unfair! They get to go before me... T_T
Sometimes I wonder what my dad feels, living there alone with those three humongous dogs to keep him company [Dusky, Ranger and X'Ter the 2nd]. He calls us every night through video call for about half an hour and we joke and laugh and all that. But at the same time, it's just his voice and face I'm seeing. I can't whack his round tummy or play with his balding hair [hopefully technology advances far enough to be able to allow contact through phones - right].

Well, I guess I'm feeling better now that I've blogged about it. I'm finally able to be honest with myself and let it all go. No more pretending to be okay and faking for me, I'm sick of that. Thankfully it won't be long before I join them at Terengganu, yay me! ^_^

P.S. Please do appreciate your family, no matter how annoying or pesky some of them may be. Life is short [cliche] so if you don't start appreciating them now, when will you?

P.P.S Owh gosh, look at me - I've turned into an emo-freak! Giving out advice on family bonds and ties kononnya. Okay okay back to normal already. Toodles!