Pain

The most painful type of hurt is NOT physical. It's emotional hurt.

You don't even realize it's there at first. It builds up slowly, taking root and spreading its spores all over your heart. Then all of a sudden, all those claws clench in simultaneously and you feel the most agonizing pain. It takes you by surprise, breaking down your defenses - leaving you more vulnerable than you've ever been.

It hinders you from your daily duties, you can't work efficiently. To surrender to it would be to admit defeat, to attempt to fight it requires Herculean strength.

Over time, the pain fades - it is no longer sharp. It dims down to a low throbbing, still there - not gone completely. It is a constant reminder of your suffering, your cowardice, your hurt and what could or should have been.

If only I had it in me to make it go away.