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Nana Kitade - Tsukihana

This is my new favourite song for emo sessions. Nana Kitade's Tsukihana is the Opening Theme for one of my favourite animes - Jigoku Shoujo Mitsuganae. When I first heard this song, I didn't quite like it. In fact, I always used to skip the opening and watch the anime straight away. It's strange how songs are able to grow on you after a while.

This is the original version of the song.



This is the Jigoku Shoujo Mitsugane's Opening version. [the volume is very loud, you might want to adjust your speakers beforehand]



Tsukihana

Yami to asobu hoshi-tachi e
Ai o utai yakitsukushite

Batsu o tomoshi hinagiku no
Yume ni yorisou tsume no ato

Kuchibiru kara kuchibiru e to tsutai
Sono nukumori wa doko e?
Tadoritsuku ate wa nai no ni

Anata de nakucha mitasenai
Watashi ja nakya yurusenakatta
Dakara watashi wa kono ashi de
Tachiagarete zottoshitan da

Kaigoroshi nara sukuwareru
Demo migoto ni kagi wa hazurete
Watashi wa maru de
Torikago o hoshite iru kurutta kotori

Uso o idaita hana

Sameta yubi de misukashite
Furete dakedo yogosanaide

Furikaeru to hitohira no
Hane ga kogetsuku ibaramichi

Maboroshi nara maboroshi o aishite
Asu de sae suterareru
Osoreru riyuu o oshiete

Anata ga nakucha ikirarezu
Kuchiru yoru o oikaketa no wa
Watashi o subete sono ude e
Ubai agete hoshikatta kara

Kedo seijaku ni tsutsumareru
Kisokuteki na iyashii kodou
Fuzaketa heya de
Tenbatsu o kazoete iru mimi o fusaide

Anata de nakucha mitasenai
Watashi ja nakya yurusenakatta
Dakara watashi wa kono ashi de
Tachiagarete zottoshitan da

Kaigoroshi nara sukuwareru
Demo migoto ni kagi wa hazurete
Watashi wa maru de
Torikago o hoshite iru kurutta kotori

Uso o idaita hana

Moon Flower -tsukihana-

To the stars that played with the darkness
I sang of love and burned up completely

Lighting the punishment
Scars from claws draw close to the daisy’s dream

Passed from lips to lips
Where’s that warmth going?
Even though it has no place to go

If I’m not with you, I can’t be satisfied
I wouldn’t be able to forgive you if it wasn’t me
So I stood up on my feet
And shuddered

If I get kept with you until death, then I’ll be saved
But how splendid, I’m unlocked
And I’m just like
A crazy little bird that wants the birdcage

Flowers embraced lies

Touch and see through me with cold fingers
But don’t dirty me

If I look back, I’m on a road of thorns
That a single feather burnt onto

If it’s an illusion, then I’ll love the illusion
And I can even throw it away tomorrow
Tell me a reason to fear it

If you were gone, then I wouldn’t be able to live
I chased after the dying night
Because I wanted to let you take
Everything of mine into your arms

But I’m surrounded by silence
In the boisterous room
My regulated, lowly heartbeats
Are counting Heaven’s punishments; I plugged my ears

If I’m not with you, I can’t be satisfied
I wouldn’t be able to forgive you if it wasn’t me
So I stood up on my feet
And shuddered

If I get kept with you until death, then I’ll be saved
But how splendid, I’m unlocked
And I’m just like
A crazy little bird that wants the birdcage

Flowers embraced lies

Pain

The most painful type of hurt is NOT physical. It's emotional hurt.

You don't even realize it's there at first. It builds up slowly, taking root and spreading its spores all over your heart. Then all of a sudden, all those claws clench in simultaneously and you feel the most agonizing pain. It takes you by surprise, breaking down your defenses - leaving you more vulnerable than you've ever been.

It hinders you from your daily duties, you can't work efficiently. To surrender to it would be to admit defeat, to attempt to fight it requires Herculean strength.

Over time, the pain fades - it is no longer sharp. It dims down to a low throbbing, still there - not gone completely. It is a constant reminder of your suffering, your cowardice, your hurt and what could or should have been.

If only I had it in me to make it go away.